* Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."
* I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity.
* Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
* Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

ejectandescape asked me these:

1. greatest experience while high.
- This I don't know how to answer. Yeah, a lot of the times were great but nothing
sticks out in my head as being ~the greatest~.

2. scariest experience while high.
- This, I know for sure. I was at my friend Tess and Lauren's house at one of their parties, and they asked me to move my car forward a bit. I was tispy and high, and for some reason went through her house, even though I could have taken the back yard as a faster route. Anyway, I get in my car, start it, say out loud "fuuuck I'm stoned" and then I hear maniacal laughter from the back seat. And it's my friend shaun(who I could not yet identify because it was so dark), who then lunged at me and yelled. I flipped the fuck out, screamed and started crying, and tumbled out of my car. He took the backyard route to get to my car to "surprise me". It was honestly the scariest moment of my life, and he tells the story to everyone! I'm still really bitter about it to this day, but I kinda laugh at it now.

3. if you could do anything, what would that be?
- Be really fucking successful. I want to be a nurse, a baker, a mom to a handful of kids (my own and adopted), be a wonderful wife, and travel the world. I want to have a lot of life experiences, to say I did this and that, and not look back at my life as a waste. But uh, I'm wasting it. haha Just sitting here, still in my PJs.

4. what the hell is your icon picture from?
- I found the picture on ffffound.com and thought it was pretty cool.

5. best encounter with an elderly person. be it humiliating, funny, heart warming, ect...
-First thing that comes to mind, is when I went to my uncle's mother's 80th birthday party, and she introduced my family to her little old lady friends. And one of them came up to me, rubbed my stomach, and said "Ohhhh congratulations, Darling! Boy or Girl?" To which I replied"UHHHHHHH...."

I made two new friends today in my Human Sexuality class. The dude is pretty cute and tall, buut idk how old he is, so I'm holding off on that because I thought tye dude sitting next to me was in his twenties, but really he's turning 40 next year. Obviously I'm no good at the age game. But these people are cool and really funny. I feel kinda creepy cause I immediately searched for the girl on facebook and added her, and we just got out of class like, an hour ago! But she seems cool!

I need help making a decision.

Either pay 128$ in 90 days or do 13 hours of community service.
I have no money and really no time. Dad gives me 40$ a week sometimes for food/survival.

what do you suggest?

I blew up today. I've been really fucking stressed, specially at home. I'm doing my best at school and it's paying off but It takes a lot of my time (24 hours of school in a week) and it's getting difficult to pay attention because I'm having sleeping problems and waking up at 5am isn't helping. My mom thinks it's just dandy to nag on me immediately as I step through the door to clean this, this, and this. All while she's been on facebook/sort of on ebay all day. "It's your job to clean 'insert one of many chores' EVERYDAY! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU JUST WALKED IN OR YOU'RE TIRED IT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!" You know, I'd be alright with it if she didn't have the mentality of "Oh I'll just leave it here because I know Alyssa will have to clean it up." That shit's just slave labor. She's left flour everywhere! Never cleans up her coffee mess cause it leaks everywhere when she pours it. Never rinses her dishes, and leaves grape stems all over the counters. Is this real life? I can't fucking stand her. I'm trying to do well in school and she comes in while I'm studying and tells me to clean more of her shit. I'm one of those emotion bottler's who just does it all so she can shut. the. fuck. up. already. But today I blew up. I couldn't stop crying and was basically cleaning the kitchen with my tears (how fucking emo). I just realize how selfish my mom really is. She doesn't care that my arthritis is killing me, I only slept two hours, that I already did this yesterday, that I have my own shit to do. She literally doesn't care. I realize that out my entire family,only two people genuinely care for me. My dad and Gram. they've always been there and taken care of me when they can tell I'm exhausted. My sister figures I'm not doing anything with my life because I'm taking stupid classes at a community college and don't have a job. o ok college dropout who got pregnant at my age, get off your high horse. Bitch didn't even spend time with me for my birthday, she partied with her friends. Gee thanks. I honestly think these people don't care. Like they don't even spare a thought for me while I constantly give them my all. I drop all I'm doing to babysit or clean or help them. Everyone fucking sucks.

/tldr rant

Edited to say that she kicked me out again. hahah fuuhh she's crazy.

My mom's filing for bankruptcy. We're more than likely going to lose the house because she can't pay the rent. She's still selling barbie shit on ebay. I kind of want to shake her and ask if she gets it. She's worked on billion dollar budget movies, making their sets and now she's selling barbie shoes. There hasn't been any work in the movie industry for over a year, so she's resorted to this. You know, instead of painting murals, sculpting landscape items or fucking anything that involves art on a grand scale where you can make some money. I think it's slowly sinking in now because she keeps saying, well if this happens, I go with the dogs and live in cabo with james or connie in Wisconsin. Oh okay mom, where does that leave me? My gramma's house is filled with My Uncle and his kids and he's mooching off of her because he'd rather her spend her money on his kids than his own. He doesn't pay shit "because he can't afford to" Yet his girlfriend spilled the beans that, oh yeah, Jim's getting hair transplants. Fool gets me so irritated. These people totally take take take from her and it makes me so sad. My gramma deserves so much better than them. Well, I can't stay at my Gram's because they're taking over the place, and my dad only has a one bedroom, and he lives too far away from school. I already have to get up at 5 to be there on time, i mean come on. I try my best to help my mom out, but seriously she leaves me at her disposal. It's honestly like I'm not even a daughter to her. (She's said that to my face before. "You're more like my roommate, not so much my daughter") Gee thanks, right? I'm going to see if Lisa has an extra room available and try and rent it out. Her family will let me in If they have the space. They're incredibly sweet like that. Theresa is more like my mom then my own mother. I honestly wish she would have raised me. My dad can give them some money until I find another job, and I'll help with bills, and their groceries to the best of my abilities. I honestly think it will work out. I'm just trying to stay optimistic, because no one else is. And I'm not letting my mom push me any further down than I need to be.

Hello, I am alyssa and I am fucking retarded when it comes to boys.

nuff said.

Yeah, I kinda need to get my shit together and figure out what I really want. I need to start eating healthier and take up running since I no longer have a gym pass. I really want one again but don't want to spend my money on one haha.

When I was at work, I saw people from my dad's community walking for MS (multiple sclerosis) and there were HOARDS OF PEOPLE. It really tugged at my heartstrings and made me want to set up a walk-a-thon for cancer, because it's become so broad now and everyone is effected by it. Like seriously, everyone knows someone who currently has cancer or know someone who has passed from cancer. And since St. Jude is only in fullerton, we can donate the proceeds to their research. Really, how awesome would it be to help out on such a grand scale??

That is all.

I Had a dream last night that I was in a car with Seth Rogen. I got sleepy and asked if I could lay on him. He said sure, and as soon as I got comfy he got a boner. Seconds before I fall asleep I heard him jizz in his pants.

Haha, I love my subconscious mind.

I honestly don't think that there's anyone else in this world that I despise/hate more then my mother.

Hjjfa!! That guy Devon I was seeing randomly appeared out of thin air and replied to my bulletin after weeks of exuses and avoidance. This makes me so frustrated! I started to move on and he pulls this shit! I undoubtedly like him a lot and if he wanted to hang out again I would drive my sorry ass out there because I'm weak as fuck. I just hate hate hate hate games. I don't understand why people still play them past the age of 15.

I'm so fucking butthurt it's unreal. Right when shit gets good, it's like 'Hault, i'm going to stop talking to you and make you WTF to no end.'
Boys can suck my dick.
Fin.

I need reassurance!
I hate being a cancer.

Uhm, saw Devon again last night. That's his name. Devon.
He lives about 60 miles away. Worth every mile.

This is so sixth grade of me, but I have truly have never felt like this before.
I'm a giddy ass mother fucker!

If there's anything to say about tonight, or really last night, it's that this happened.

I have a hot date tomorrow.
(Taking Dance lessons [ really, how cute?] , having dinner, and strolling the beach at nightime)

I'm shitting my pants I'm so excited, nervous, flipping the fuck out.